People do do whatever they want to each other, torture/kill animals and "seeming wrong" to "hurt" each other is a value judgement based on one's personal backgrounds and beliefs not a "proof" of worth/no worth. What does "hurt" mean?

My husband hit me one morning while I was teaching him how to make pancakes. My stepmother use to hit me so I went into "kill" mode but my knowledge of and relationship with my husband was not like that which I had with my stepmother so I restrained myself and asked "why?" I had nearly gotten us hurt/killed in my impatience at his slowness, tried to turn on the blender before it was seated properly on the motor and it could have "exploded" and sent heavy glass shards everywhere, etc. Where is it written, "Don't hit your wife unless she is trying to kill you?"

It is all personal judgment and societal background and personal history, not something automatic/innate. It is sad that children are starving in Africa and I may/may not spend some of my personal "energy" (includes money as well as time and physical/emotional/mental resources) to see if I can help but I will not spend as much as I do on my own child. My child has more value/worth to me than a starving child in Africa does, they are not the same to me. I am the only one in my world and my #1 "job" is my survival. If I'm not here, I'm not here/can't do anything, have no worth/value to anyone else here (other than in memory, which can be of important positive or negative value to that person but not necessarily based entirely on what I said/did but on the person remembering's value system).