Started the day off not so well. Pretty darn irritable. Saw my therapist... thinking back, I can't believe the way I acted. Pretty sure I was right when I told her I might be having a mixed episode. I was laughing and being sarcastic while feeling worthless and better off dead. The way I spoke was... I don't know. I told her I reminded myself of The Joker (from what little I've seen; mostly trailers and snippets). And I know that I'm most dangerous to myself when I feel mixed. We actually went a bit over time. And she... treated me like she always does. The sarcasm didn't bother her. How I acted didn't bother her. I'm lucky to have her.

Afterwards I was walking with music on repeat, not feeling too well, wondering what I would do. I kept walking around and for some reason decided to taste tree sap (which took several hours to come off my fingers). And... I started feeling better. I don't know why. I don't get it. All I know is that this morning I was depressed and now I'm not. I'm thankful.