Thanks for that, MuayThaiLady, I appreciate your insight. I guess that my diagnosis of both my parents as having similar issues to BPD, and having had more than one as a girlfriend, I began to wonder.

Thanks again ifst5, your posts have been a great help and I appreciate you coming back and reading my ramblings. In fact, posting in these forums over the last day or so has been a great help for me refinding my equilibrium after my friend's recent outburst and accusations. I'm beginning to feel 'sane' again, at least. And not questioning myself quite as much as I did when she blamed me for everything wrong in her life.

You're probably right about the time scale in proper diagnosis and I'm not sure I'm quite prepared for that. The two different times I went to bereavement counselling, which was only once a week for 12 weeks, I got a lot out of it but felt 'different' about myself for the entire 12 weeks and it was something of a relief when it ended and I could 'find myself' again. I'm not sure why that was. Perhaps it is because I am not used to relying on someone else (which is how it feels to me in counselling). And I'm not used to exposing myself so one-sidedly, which begins to make me feel needy or whiney or one of those things my parents would acuse me of when I wanted anything as a child. maybe that means I should pursue it but it doesn't always feel pressing enough for the size of the commitment. Maybe I'm being a coward.

Interesting to hear that you are in the arts too. I came to the conclusion, many years ago, that the creative industries was really a repository for all those with some kind of mental or emotional difficulties to function in the workplace. Alcoholism, drug addiction, impulsive behaviour, extreme outbursts of all kinds, violence, promiscuous sex, it all happens there. Computers have changed that a bit. These days they seem more like places full of sedated people staring numbly at the computer screen, much like anywhere else. Hence I work from home these days.

Saying that, the great thing about computers is that they have opened up opportunities for everyone. And self publishing as an author or illustrator is a real opportunity, so good luck with it!

Thanks again for the suggestions and links, it's nice to have made a connection with you here; however tentatively!