As i told in my previous thread I had intrusive thought and my depression was getting worse. I ended up getting committed to psych ward and diagnosed with psychotic depression. I didn't really agree with the diagnosis since I realize that the thought I have aren't real and i feel fairly lucid. Anyways I went to the hospital voluntarily to make things easier for me. Some part of me was also afraid that I would actually end up attempting suicide if i didn't have a more secure environment.

I arrived at the hospital yesterday. The hospital building is nice and my room is fairly home-like. I also have a private room (though it has a camera..). When i arrived my medications were drastically increased. I was put on a large dose of Seroquel and my and meds were upped to maximum. Also my Xanax dose was doubled from 1mg as needed for max. 3 times a day to 2mg max. 3 times per day. Those meds have made my extremely sleepy and lethargic. Seroquel did nearly remove my intrusive thoughts but I can hardly think about anything at all now. When I asked if my meds could be reduced I just got a ''It is a standard treatment for psychotic depression''.

Staff and patients seem fairly nice, though one of the night nurses was, for a lack of better fitting word, a *****. She forced me to go to bed at 10pm despite the fact that I had slept for the most of the day. I was also very anxious at that moment. I would have needed a person to talk to for a couple of minutes and instead I got a very rude answer ''I'm not here to talk'' and a sleeping pill.

All in all I'm having a fairly mixed. I think it is good for me to get away from home and sharp things and pills, but the medication thing is bothering me. Thankfully my pdoc comes back from a holiday on the 28th.