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Originally Posted by ToeJam
I do indeed, however this journal is as the situations are happening, to catalogue my thoughts, feelings, coping strategies and then have it reviewed by a nurse on each shift (3 times a day) or if I am really struggling approach them with what I've written rather than have my mouth do the talking which I am very uncomfortable doing.
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You could change that and unload the feelings on us or on a pm here if a nurse (or
the nurse) isn't avaible. But thats maybe beside the point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ToeJam
Well to be fair, I don't know how effective the item would actually be... if broken it would be very jagged but not sure how deep it would penetrate. Ironically I've been lent one by one of the nurses too... which makes me query if they actually consider it a safe item... or just hadn't considered it being used in that way. Wouldn't use his to do it of course.
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But then you can hurt yourself with a wall.
And you didn't answer the wuestion if it's a good idea to tell your wife. If it's not that big of a deal cause the item is not that dangerous then it's not that big of a deal to tell her either. I really feel like someone else should be on this.
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Originally Posted by ToeJam
I do, but she has a 3 week holiday ending on the 28th which is when I see her next.
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Oh
It sucks.... everyone on pc seem to have this problem now when everyone have holiday....me included. :/
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Originally Posted by ToeJam
A number of different noises... children screaming, people talking, clatter of plates, doors opening/closing, music/tv blaring.... multiple conversations in a group I'm familiar with happening at once.
It totally disrupts my concentration... I can be in mid sentence... noise happens... I turn startled towards it and lose my train of thought.
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So it's not just the noise itself that is disturbing but the fact that you lose your train of thought? You could always tell the friends around you to keep conversations simple, slow and talk quitely (if any of that would help).
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Originally Posted by ToeJam
I'm on 10 minute observations which means every 10 minutes someone comes to check on me if I'm not within line of sight. Essentially it's a safe guard to ensure that should I make another attempt, I would be found within that time frame and thus reducing the chance of death due to proximity of resuscitation and medical assistants.
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Oh I see.... if I were there I would have a 10 min hugging. Which would mean 6 hugs an hour... ^^
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Originally Posted by ToeJam
The answer to that would be a big reply in itself.... but in short I was emotionally and physically abused/neglected from the age of 5 both at home (emotional mostly) and at school up until the point of leaving home for university.
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I wasn't actually asking about the incidents themselves... I was wondering what kind of feelings and thoughts comes to your mind.. Sometimes I hear the people that bullied me or see their faces with an evil grin when I lose my selfesteem or such. Thats how I come to the thought of "I'm such a failure." So thought maybe it's the same for you..
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Originally Posted by ToeJam
What you're saying is logical, but emotional damage can override logic. Of course I do not see others here as failures... but I wouldn't be surprised that many here feel that they are anyway even though logic contradicts that. Reminds me of the phrase of 'being unable to follow your own advice'; When we look at other people we are able to give advice objectively because it is not impacting directly on us... we are not enduring the stress and confusion that certain situations bring so we are looking at it from the outside.
However... the opposite is true when you find yourself in that situation and you are overwhelmed by it.
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I'm well aware of the difference between what you consider logical and what you feel and I was trying to express that in my post to. And as I also said... the first step to fight it is to acknowledge and admit it. You just did!
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Originally Posted by ToeJam
Thanks, I am trying my hardest to fight this
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Pls tell me if I trigger you or say something stupid/wrong. D: I'm so afraid all the time and I just wrote a lot.
