I wish I could relate and give you advice. But all i can give you is an e-hug. I am not that experienced with depression, and I have different cycles than you. I am an EXPERT on mania, lol, but I have only had a couple of 'mild' depressive episodes.

The last depressive episode I had, I felt like there was no hope...but I never stopped fighting for hope..and I held onto it with all my might, and after a long time and getting help, I came out of it.