Quote:
Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
How do I get around the fact that I'm incompatible with everyone? For the few people who have found me attractive, none of them has been the least bit compatible or they'd rather be with someone else (even someone they don't really like). At this point, I'm competing against everyone's exes…it's like they all fall in one of two categories:
1. The "I really like you, but I'd dump you for my ex in a heartbeat if they would ever come back into my life (but they won't)" camp.
OR
2. The "I'll push you and guilt you into something physical immediately" camp. I have no idea why people can't wait until at least the second date to touch someone…And apparently it's a joke that I don't want to be kissed (or worse) on the first date.
Just for #2, I'm incompatible with nearly everyone.
Sexual tension pushes other people away from me or pushes me away from them…it just doesn't do anything positive for me. Especially if I'm punished for acting on it…if I make the first move (which has to happen in any real life situation in my case), the guy tends to get mad or scared. If a guy would ever make the first move, then I wouldn't feel desperately like I have to every time. And if I wasn't punished for it more often than not, I'd make the first move more often.
Speaking of guys, I wish I had more guy friends, but the friendships never last long because if we connect at all, I almost always get a crush on him and he of course doesn't want that…or it hurts too much for me. And the same thing happens with girls, although less frequently and they're not mad/annoyed/grossed out/whatever that I like them…it's just difficult for me. It seems like the only friends I'd be able to have would be people that I wouldn't be able to connect with…but those would be lousy friends.
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at times that happens..the competition with the "ex" thingy..i have been through it before..and of course you can't win.
you have to just meet as many people as possible, what you are going through is a lot of the reason i believe people stay in sh*ttty relationships..because it is so much work and difficulty finding someone new.
don't give up hope though, you have time and opportunity on your side.
yes you will run into people that aren't over their ex's..it happens, i went through a similar situation last summer..yes, it sucks..but what can you do?
as far as the "i'll push you into something immediately camp" yes they are out there..doesn't make it easy, one thing that may help is if you meet these guys somewhere for a cup of coffee or a walk in the park, something that is inexpensive of doesn't cost money so they don't think they are "entitled" to anything. this way things can progress without pressure.
dating can get quite expensive these days(especially from a guy's standpoint)
dinner and a movie can easily run you $100 bucks nowadays. i don't take a girl out to dinner unless she is my gf for that reason. that's a lot of money to be spending for someone that may or may not like you..the risk reward profile is not very good.
so with that being said..this can explain the "pushiness" from camp #2.
idk why a guy would be mad or scared when you made the first move unless
A) they are young and inexperienced
or
B) they are young and inexperienced
rarely have i met girls that are that aggressive and when i have , i have had a great time!
so as far as guy friends, i'll be your friend and help ya out & since i'm on the internet here and not face to face you don't have to worry about developing a crush or anything of that nature so this can work really good for you & i will guide you through this maze!
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
