I am so sorry. I know how painful this must be for you.....just came out of a bout with depression myself, and the only thing that made it bearable was knowing that my brain was lying to me. I would just sit there, thinking thoughts of death and destruction, and then remind myself that it was all bull****, my brain was trying to murder me and I was NOT going to allow that.
It's not fun being unable to trust one's own brain, but with us---during mood episodes, anyway---we don't have that luxury. Once we get back to normal (whatever that is), we can make peace with our brains again. I hope you get back to a place where you can trust yours not to betray you. Hold on.
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DX: Bipolar 1
Anxiety
Tardive dyskinesia
Mild cognitive impairment
RX: Celexa 20 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM
Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN
Lamictal 500 mg
Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression)
Trazodone 150 mg
Zyprexa 7.5 mg
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