I don't know the answer but there are 2 things to consider, imo.

One is that each individual is .. individual... and has their own set of symptoms and

Two is that each individual is .. individual... and the degree or intensity of their symptoms is individual.

What can you do but keep working at it?

I am reading a very interesting book that is helpful to me at the moment. It's called "Understanding the Borderline Mother", Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship.. by Christine Ann Lawson. It's well-written and easy to read and understand. It's not always easy personally/emotionally because I see my mother, myself as a child, myself as a mother, and my son as a child... but it's very helpful for understanding. My T was excited that i have it.. I took it with me yesterday to my session... and we will talk more about it next week.

I've never been given the diagonsis, but diagnosis doesn't matter to me. The behavior/symptoms fit and that gives me something to work with.

I think the most difficult thing about BPD is getting the person to treatment because they don't see the need. Once there, if willing to explore and with a good therapist, I think great improvements can be made. I thnk this is true with any diagnosis.

ECHOES