Thanks OE.....so much to think about. I agree that I've learnt a way of being int he world through my experiences that no longer fit, and that were frankly dysfunctional in some ways. It has only been since my 'crisis' (if that is what one should call it) that my relationships with people have become really difficult. It is a struggle.

I had always been viewed as friendly, confident and capable. They never saw how I was coping, and neither did I for most of the time. Then the mess happened and I became negative, defensive etc etc. Oh so many negative adjectives could be used to describe my behaviour. Most of all, I hated myself. Now I am seen as kind, friendly, fun, confident etc etc etc by others.........

It really is confusing to be so unsure of yourself........ anyway...

I don't think that I am volatile in the sense of being turbulent, unpredictable or erratic around others. Only in my head maybe am I unsettled,uncertain and uneasy. I think that possible some of the physical things that you mention Teacake certainly wouldn't hurt me, but I am not convinced they are what I really need. I'm still figuring all that out, but I appreciate your ideas.

Today was not as stressful as I expected, so tonight I am hoping for sleep to make up for the lack of it last night.

My son comes back from 2 and a half weeks away early tomorrow morning, so I am beginning to get really excited about that.