Oh boy. That's where I had struggled when I got married. I caved into his desire to not marry, religiously. I also wanted a near elope type marriage. He insisted on his family. I struggled about family as I didn't invite my paternal family.
Once, I caved into that, there was a slow undercurrent of my needs were to be backburnered and his wants came first. I was willing to compromise on religious denomination. Right there, displays a rocky start.
He also, cannot expect to replicate what he had with her, onto you. He'll be in for a rude awakening, as the resentments that you'll have will only build and build. You deserve to feel special in a unique relationship with him. Not replica of his first wife.