I so agree with your personal explanation of the confusion...somewhere in between the present and dissociation. That IS confusing.

The great thing is...YOU'RE AWARE OF THIS. I did this for years with no, zero, nada, awareness that I was on my way "out". How awesome. It's a good step to "scheduling" good dissociation and therapeutic dissociation, I think.

I've recently found that good, scheduled dissociation can be an AMAZING tool to manage...

Good question and observance!

KD