Legitimately can't help feeling life can only go downhill from here...so I wonder why try? All I am doing is prolonging the inevitable just so I don't hurt friends/family with offing myself or somehow ruining my life more than it already is...I mean this is seriously what I have to look forward to? a 700$ disability check a month 300 of which automatically goes to rent, living at my moms house, still be scraping by financially, looked down upon by society and just making due with what I have while trying to budget money so I can take care of basic needs/bills and then hope to have some left for a couple things I might enjoy(meaningful/enjoyable activities) according to therapists I go to is technically a need since it reduces feeling stagnated)....they make it so you gotta pay to do damn near anything.

uhh just whining I suppose.