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Originally Posted by regretful
...and back again...I seem to be fluctuating between depression and anxiety. I'm so regretful of the past (hence the self-imposed moniker), and so fearful of the future. Though I'm up and "functioning" I am just going through the motions. For me, the most excruciating part of this depression is knowing that I wasn't always like this. I long for feeling even a bit content. It's becoming more difficult by the day to keep this up...Thanks for reading, just needing to vent...
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Yes, Regretful. I think the day-to-day fight worsens the longer the battle goes on. I've been fighting this in one way or another for 60+ years. And, yes, I'm up & functioning too. Sometimes I wish I could just break down entirely. The problem is that when you're up & functioning, everyone presumes you're okay & so they treat you as if you're okay. But I'm not okay... not really. Sometimes I think I can't stand this another minute! But then I pull it back together & go on.
You wrote you can remember a time when you felt well. I can remember times when I was better at hiding than I am now. But I don't ever recall a time when I actually felt well.
I recently re-established my on-again / off-again yoga practice & it seems to be helping. I'm pleased to be back to it. So that's the good news from my direction. I hope you can find something that will help you deal with your depression & anxiety as well.
