Moonkin, I went back and read most of your posts and I don't think you give things enough time?

I was in therapy 18 years (with 9 years between periods of therapy when I was working on my feelings myself, so in a sense, 27 years) before I got to where I am now. I think your losses of people to death, especially the loss of your grandfather whom you use to connect with, ARE important to you and have not been grieved enough by you. We humans need connections to thrive and I don't think you have very many? and the ones you had which were good were taken away from you.

Seeing a therapist for 6 months is way too little time to effect a change, especially for someone as young as you are or who has had/is having your difficulties. I don't care how "important" a therapist is, or whether they are the best of the best, etc.; if they aren't working for YOU, then nothing else matters, they're not a good match for you. I would encourage you and your Mom/parents to continue looking for a therapist, one you are serious about working with rather than merely going through the motions of going to because it is what you are "supposed" to do. Look for and find a therapist who does understand and I almost guarantee that things will get better (but not immediately, it could take a year or more to see significant changes).

Meanwhile I would find a psychiatrist who can work with you and evaluate what meds you have tried, in what combinations, for what periods, etc. and work on a medical treatment plan for you also.

With relation to your drumming, I would find an "outside" teacher, perhaps at a nearby university if possible and work with him to forward your skills (and help your self esteem which will also affect your depression) and see if such a teacher cannot also find you an appropriate, non "high school" venue to work with regarding your interest and talents in that area. In such a society of muscians, you are more likely to find others "like" you with whom to be friends or who can serve as mentors and help alleviate your depression in that fashion.