I have been having a horrible night. I decided to sit down and just let the words flow. It definitely came out different than I had expected. But I didn't change it because that is how I was feeling at the time. Might be a bit morbid for some, but it's my way of saying this depression is NOT going to get the better of me. Let me know what you think if you'd like.
One night in the darkest hour before morn
I decide to let go of this life forlorn.
The pain in my heart I can no longer endure
I'll leave it all behind, my spirit will be pure.
The loss of loves gone on before
I will meet again at heaven's door.
With shaky hands I grasp the devils
Pour them into my palm all disheveled.
I stare at them in quiet contempt
I'm scared of what I'm about to attempt.
I raise my palm up to my mouth with a sob
My lips part slowly, time to finish the job.
I tilt back my head, preparing to swallow,
Thinking will it hurt, this thing that will follow.
And in that instant I see something shocking
An image in my head that silently came knocking.
Two perfect angels, a sister and brother.
Who've lost a father, and need a mother.
I throw the pills across the room in hate
I cannot go through with this, I debate.
I may have heartache and I may have tears
But losing both parents will affect them for years.
Two little angels, hearts full of love
This depression I must be free of.
I scramble to pick up the evidence of evil
I cannot let them see me in such an upheavel.
I throw them out the window fast
While my sanity is here standing steadfast.
I crawl between the angels who are lying in my bed.
Lay down beside them to rest my head.
I stare at their sweet sleeping faces
Holding them close in my embraces.
I must fight for them, they deserve so much more
Than finding their mother dead on the floor.
I am a MOTHER! Can't you see?
Depression I want you to hear my plea.
Leave us at once, you will not win
I will fight you, fight you, until I can live again.
~Deanna
My <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.timelesscaptures.com/tulip> Blog </A> about depression.