SecretGarden, I was comforted for myself when I figured out that a lot of my anger was at situations rather than people. I'm very good at quickly figuring out what is "wrong" with a situation and how to fix it so I rather "naturally," when someone suggests something, explain why it will not work. :-) My heart is in the right place but I'm ahead of where I should be in that I am already fixing things before they are broken. Others perceive this in me as being "negative" or angry.

It took awhile for my T to teach me to respond to and clarify/make sure I understood what is being said by others before I give my response. Learning to restate what has been said and asking, "Is that correct?" helps keep me from flying off the handle of my own assumptions of what someone else is saying.

If someone says, "The earth is flat" my kneejerk response of "And you are an idiot" (whether I state that or merely let myself think it and let it go at that) doesn't help things :-) However, a response of "Do you mean that you believe the earth is literally flat or that it appears to be flat?" would go a long way to "fix" any negative perceptions of what someone else says. Even the first half, if the person says they do believe the earth is literally flat; if you think about it, is a very curious thing to think in this day and age and I have a lot of natural curiosity so could easily respond, "Why do you think that?" instead of, "You are an idiot" :-)

I try to remember the "goal" of conversation is to learn about other people and their thoughts and feelings, not to "judge" them or set them straight on how the/their world "really" works :-) What another person believes is not my problem; I'm only responsible for myself.