I think it would be best to talk to her in person. It would be more helpful to address such complex issues/feelings, plus you’d get ‘real time’ feedback from T.

Have you tried keeping a diary (intended primarily for your eyes only) where you can write it all out? If it helps, you might even address it to T while you write as a means of establishing a connection. Pen and paper writing i mean, as it is more involved and better at helping induce emotional catharsis.

Granted, it is no substitute for the real thing (i.e. T) but it might help with the internalising process. See it as a patch that keeps you going when you can't be with T and/or when you need her.

At any rate, hope your next session with her is more fulfilling, rainbow.