Ok, so I did something stupid, or at least potentially stupid. I allowed a small key, or window into the rollercoaster ride we were on. If they take the bate as I suspect (or hopefully wish) they will, then what do I say?

I dream about them, think about them incessantly and imagine that we could pick up where we left off. The thing is a part of me doesn't want to let them off that easy. The other part wants to be honest. In fact there's another part, that simply wants to wish them well (an voice how I feel, but we cannot be).

I feel guilt for what I have put them through, yet with reflection, they too put me through hell - and never apologised- I always did.

I am happy with my life right now, with or without them, yet the whole reason I have pffered them this small crack, is because I miss them terribly and want another shot. If I was wrong, I would admit it. If they are done, guess this will be the final test. If they are happily ever after-ing it with someone else, I wish them well.

I guess I am scared. Can anyone else relate... If I get what I want, will I really want it anymore? It's not from a lack of love, never was, more so from a lack of circumstance. Things are exponentially complicated, as most things in life usually are.

Someone help - what should I do?