I believe in you, BeaFlower . I know how weird it feels to tell close one you are dealing with menatl problems. And you're right - it will be a lot more useful of you talk with a specialist mailny because if you will think about it all alone, it will make you feel lonely and separated from the outside world. It can such an unpleasant feeling. I wish you luck :3 I'm sure you will find the courage to talk about with your parents