How old are you rodes123?

It started for me as a teenager. 13. I discovered pot and alcohol and occasionally other things. I used this to cope for a long time. Of course that is not a good solution. I look back and I know that at 13 is when I started to experience severe depression. I think the drugs and alcohol allowed me to cope and do pretty well up through high school. After high school the depression started getting much worse. I was very lost at this point.

I have a long tale that I won't get into now but I wish I could have gotten the help I needed back then. I probably wouldn't have been willing at that time anyway but who knows.

The thing is you are recognizing things and want to get help. That is a very powerful thing. The earlier you start getting help and dealing with these issues in a healthy way the better off you will be. Drugs and alcohol don't count as a healthy way. My daughter went through her whole teenage years in a similar way. We did get her help and she has learned to be very open and willing to reach out when she needs it. I think she mostly grew out of it though. She is 21 and is doing 500% better than she was as a teenager. During her teenage years she did learn a lot about herself and developed self awareness and what works for her and what doesn't. It took time but thank god she is doing so good now.