canders, your story makes me sad. How very very difficult to say good-bye.

I hope if you resume therapy, you can choose someone who will be able to stay with you longterm, like perhaps the trauma counselor. I think repeated bouts of shortterm therapy and shortterm-destined-to-end-soon bondings with therapists could end up being harmful and make it even more hard to bond and share with a T in the future. When you are ready, I hope you can find someone able to make a commitment to you.

((((hugs))))