Hi everyone, its been awhile since I have posted but I have been here, just haven't had the nerve....

So I found myself very torn lately with something and was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.....My T has been working very hard with me with getting through some difficult things this year, a death, anxiety unrelated and related, relationship things, etc. He's very patient with my more often than not unwillingness to always open up, To the point that I sometimes feel bad for not being able to do it sometimes. We have made some progress on something recently and I got the feeling that he was relieved that I was willing to be open during this. But it came with a price, I didn't realize until the other day that I have been fighting the urge to do something different to help when I am overwhelmed, a not so healthy way of managing. I don't want him to think that he caused it or that I was pushed into these thought because of the work we have done lately, its extremely unlike me to think that way so I don't want him to think something is going wrong.
If we stop the work we are currently doing there are 2 scenarios I see happening:
1: I may not think these thing again and not currently be so overwhelmed
2: He gave me some insight in why were working the way we are and the end result is something I want very much, its the things in between that I think are giving me issues(apparently the point of discussing them lol)
hes using mindfulness with this process to help me stay in the present, I have used mindfulness before with him with good results so he is catering it to this specific course.
anyone ever find themselves in the position where they don't want to let the T down and not give up on a process because you know what you will get at the end but are ashamed of some of the things that happen as a result of it?