Thanks all. Everything you all said makes good sense and has helped me. I did realize today that when I get upset with him there is something going on and I want to punish him by quitting; hurting myself in the long run (I'm very good at hurting myself). I feel that could be negative transference going on. He hit a nerve that he does not know exsists in me. We have talked termination and he feels for me it's not over and my termination process would be long. Secretly, I never want to leave him. I've had so many losses and he means so much and has been so good to me, termination would have to be gradual or maybe I could just move in with him. Problem solved! Therein lays a big issue for me. Also, the times I threaten to cancel; approximately 6,000, he says to just show and I do kicking and screaming and have always left with that big "chunk" of great work accomplished. It is weird how that occurrs. So, I will let the observing ego kick in and remove the hightened emotion and show up and let it flow.....scared. Do you think if I show up with a sheet over my head that would be okay?