honestly, i have been where you are with your thoughts. what's the point in finding out a label just to put on a form? i may as well self diagnose as the social side of the internet seems to have just made mental illness a trend or something that it's not. don't think negatively of mental illness, it won't define you like a label and it's just an asset that you can choose to tell people about or not and it will just help make things clearer and make more sense for treatment or help etc. as for feeling like nothing productive or purposeful is happening my best advice is find a hobby. one that is completely new to you so you can put all your energy in it. if you find you don't like it, search for a new one. it will keep your mind of your thoughts for a little while and help you do something for you whether its going for walks, drawing, painting, photography or anything. you do have a purpose though you just have to find it