ughh i feel like this all the time! i so so want to be positive about everything that life has to offer because when you think about it from one angle, life is really amazing and beautiful. but i can't help but be negative about everything. personally, i think he world is dark and scary and lonely and tbh i hate it most of the time. whenever I'm positive i just think of something negative to balance it out and i run off on a tangent about all thats wrong with the world. maybe having mental illnesses changed your perception of the world, as often i am jealous of how people can be happy all the time and i'm not so maybe thats the problem? life is just a weird and crazy experience to even comprehend so you're definitely not alone. such a good conversation topic though haha