Let me start by giving you information about my childhood.When I was 8 or 10 yrs old my friend's brother used to try and insert his penis in my **** and I would let him so that I could join in their hangout group.This happened for like 3 or 4 times and I don't remember ever liking it.All I remember is how I loved girls but very very shy(which has gotten worse).I have had a lot of crushes(all on girls) up to now but I have never been in a relationship.I started watching porn when I was 8:it was only naked girls at that time.then I started watching the hardcore stuff then the genres changed.October last year I started watching tranny porn then escalated to gay porn.the last 5 or 6 months I have been watching more of the humiliating porn stuff in the gayish genre Cuckolding etc.I self dignosed with HOCD after reading up on it.my HOCD intsensity changes from time to time.when its high I give in and just say "I'm gay" then I watch more of the humiliating gay stuff then I MO.And also my HOCD is high AF everytime I smoke weed.
Now my attraction for girls is flat at the moment even for the girl I currently have a crush on because the HOCD is at an all time high.I don't find being in a relationship with a male apealling but my mind sometimes gives me doubts about that.I'm always checking out if there is any kind of attraction to males when I'm walking and there is nothing.

The other thing about me is that I'm very socially awkward.I can talk to guys about anything no stress,but I get very awkward around girls especially the ones with whom I have a posibiltiy of dating.I get shaky and all wierd.I have a couple of friends (all guys)we all attracted to girls I hope.

I have tried to quit my porn use a couple times and I have failed.The longest I have stayed PMO free is 7days.I have also come to terms with the fact that I am a porn addict.But.....

Could I be gay??WTF?what is goin on with me.I am 19 years old by the way and plz pardon my English.