Trying....I know its a confusing time for you right now. You feel the responsibilities towards your marriage and your family. I will not try to sway you one way or another, but plead with you to be careful. What you are explaining is that your husband is not a man who can be trusted, he is manipulative and abusive. There is no way around it and if he doesn't accept his role in his abuse and get help, he will never change....he may only get worse.

I don't know how old your children are, but what are they learning from your husband about life and how to treat other individuals? Are they learning that women don't matter. If you have a son, will he grow to be like his father, demeaning, mean, demanding etc? Will your daughter, learn that her life means nothing, that her thoughts mean nothing...will she live a life like yours, in fear and feeling like she is nothing, becoming depressed? These are questions that only you can answer and they should be thought about. Children never want their parents to divorce...but children don't always know or understand what choices are best for them either.

Please understand that I recognize myself in your posts and that is why I am responding to you the way I am. I understand that it is a horribly difficult position to be in and I haven't walked in your shoes, nor do I have a right to tell you what to do. I would say that if your T thinks its a good idea for you to leave your marriage, then I say you are not in a good place right now.

I would be happy to give you some information if you would like regarding abusive/controlling partners. In the meantime, please stay safe and take good care. My prayers are with you and your family.

J