You don't need to calm your mind. You need to get your fight up. You are on the PTSD forum. We depress ourselves to spare others our wrath. We turn our fight in on ourselves. You've got to turn your fight around and go get some adequate treatment. You may get more PTSD as you get less depressed. Deal with it.

Living here now will help. Train yourself a little each day. "cool story, bro, but that's not happening now. This is happening now. Cool story but it hasn't happened yet"

Get medicine. Be open to other treatment. I've seen people brighten up on ect. I'm afraid of the paralytic drugs myself but I've seen depressed people turn around in a week.

Eat raw food every day. Walk. Get sunlight. Stop drinking. Stop smoking--cut back first. Cut back caffeine but go slow. Drink water. Drinking a glass of water each hour or even each thirty minutes is something you can do right now to feel better by tonight. Read about dehydration and depression. Do all those natural self help things.

Fight for yourself.

If ptsd, my own and that of loved ones has taught me anything it is that its better to do the wrong thing than to do nothing. I've lived in five domestic violence shelters because of a horrid little meddling accountant. Before hat trauma I taught refugees. Because 6 dad had ptsd all my men ha e had ptsd, from political violence. My favorite over was an asylee from beautiful country gone to revolution and totalitarianism in our youth. A He lost everything but his body and that was crippled by beatings in prison. Gang women, political asylum seekers, war refugees, all tell me do the wrong thing before you freeze and do nothing.

Under the depression you are fighting for your life. Under the fight you are a peace loving person of myriad emotions and sensitivities. You have to go through the ptsd fight crap to get there. Do it.

Let other people deal with the pits you become. Don't curl up and die for their convenience.

This is serious. Even if you don't have the heart to do suicide, it is violence to drag on for decades untreated. Don't allow it. Get noisy now.

I managed to arrive at the age of fifty before I woke up in hospital wondering where I was and who helped me out of my clothes. I have no shame about it now. I am merely grateful that my police and medical people were respectful and decent and concerned. I am grateful to a little snake who sent my adrenaline soaring and led me to big drama. I got more help that week than I got in the months dicking around at the local MH place. I feel I had to be an *** to get help but no o.e treated me like an ***. They were kind and supportive.

Sometimes you have to blow past the mental health minions to get to the doctors and nurses. They are the ones who see the suicides while the minions are eating ice cream in front of telly. Do what you have to do. You'll pay your karmic debt when you are healthy and strong, with interest and in good cheer.

One thing about ptsd that does approach recovery, we care about seeing others get well. It's like a spiritual awakening or an initiation. So you may as well thank gods or dogs for our horrific warmongering because its given us medical people with ptsd experience of their own.

Lol! I bezerked online! I will outlive my sanity, I can see that now.but you take care and keep fighting until you are well. Me too.

Godspeed