Its the illness talking not you. I've been able to keep going for 7/8 yrs battling with illness and experiences stressful circumstances. I've been really rock bottom, in really dark isolating place, feeling like ending life but something guides me, protects me. We deserve to life well and not be badly affected by negative people. Be in charge of your life. That's what I want. Not to feel powerless, empty, trapped, alone, suffering a lot, afraid...I want things to change for me which means I have to be self motivated, willing, determined, courageous, and open minded, creative and curious, trying out new things, challengin self.