Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin
I am so sorry you have gone through all of this. I wish I could say the right thing to help you feel better about your baby. All I can offer is that I can relate to what you are going through.
My mother died 2 months before I found out I was pregnant with my youngest child. So I was dealing with lots of emotions during the pregnancy. After my baby was born it continued however I just wrote it off as grief and never said anything to my dr. My baby also suffered from failure to thrive. I felt there were issues but the pediatrician kept telling me that he was fine and I was comparing him to his brother and sister. So I believed him. At the age of 9 months my guy weighed 12 pounds (his birth weight was just over 9 pounds). He could not sit up on his own an if you tried to hold him in a sitting position he would cry and wiggle out of it. at his 9 month check up the Dr. was on vacation so we had an NP. That is when things changed. However,to this day (kiddo is now 13) I feel horrible that I didn't stand up when I knew things were wrong. I often wonder if things would have been different had a stood up for him?? Fortunately, he is a happy healthy teen now.
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thank you. so much was going on and i was trusting my doctors. i also feel guilty because i thought maybe my doc didn't push me because i was insistent on trying to breastfeed. with my oldest, he had a hiccup in weight and i was immediately pushed to formula feed (read: i have no problem with formula feeding but I personally wanted to breastfeed as i deal with ppd and this was a way to help me feel connected). so when she expressed some slight concern about my baby's weight (different doctor with my second baby) i was like 'his brother was small' and she dropped it.
it wasn't until he lost weight that she was like 'oh, we need to have him checked out.' and i cried and cried thinking it was all my fault.
he's a little behind on his gross skills (he's a year and only pulling up to his knees) and i keep worrying i did something terrible to him. i'll feel better when i see him as a healthy older kid. but it's not helped my ppd to deal with this guilt and i need to be open about that with my t.
thank you for sharing your story with me tho. that sounds like it was rough and i'm so very sorry
