Sunrise... It looks like you have described both sides of the continuum without seeing the inbetween. There are all kind of possibilities between the two extremes you described. I like to think that I have progressed so that my actions are somewhat inbetween... Time has assisted and I suppose lots of therapy and practice.. Also of note is though the actions have changed somewhat the internal discontent is still ravaging. .

What I find sometimes is that people I know, even therapists I have had, have expressed their discontent with certain things that may be outside of the room even but they do not experience the guilt. I wonder of the role of guilt. I do not think the answers are simple but it would be nice to continue to have various perspectives.