I'm so sorry it's turned out worse than you thought. But, as everyone said, don't confuse the blame here. HE chose the action, HE is the one at fault. We women are conditioned in society to think we're responsible for men's behavior, and I have done it, too. We're told we have to be pretty enough, smart enough, interesting enough, the perfect mother, the perfect lover, etc. Well, that's bullcrap! No one's perfect!

If your husband wasn't happy, he had NO excuse to cheat on you. When you're in a marriage, it's a partnership, and if you have problems, you have to COMMUNICATE with your partner. You can't fix a marriage if both spouses don't know there's problems to be fixed, and what they are. Not all problems are one or the other's faults, and some aren't fixable, but if you're married, you're presumably an adult, and adults are supposed to be mature. Mature people don't go, "I hate you!" and run off to play with someone else. They talk about what's bothering them.

If you don't want to be married anymore, you don't cheat. You tell your partner you're not happy, and you don't want to work on it, and let your partner go. It will probably hurt him or her, but at least you're being honest, saving time and letting your partner go free to find a new life. I think cheating would hurt more, and it'll waste time. Let the person go and get on with his/her life.

That was long-winded, sorry.