Oh dear ripose. I failed to read further down the thread. I've been away from pc since march. My personal experience was with my mother's illness. She had terminal breast cancer. She and I weren't close but I can say I admired and respected how she lived each day after her Dx. She accepted that her death was imminent and lived each day in a normal everyday way. I saw no self pity. She didn't complain tho she had to have been in great pain. Her cancer had spread. I know these things because I caretook her as she worsened. She possessed so much dignity. I am grateful I had that time with her to know a side of her I didn't know existed, a strong and spiritual woman. I hope I can be as selfless as she was. She was 60 years of age. I am 66 now. I didn't realize at the time how "young" she was.
So sometimes we can live by example without realizing we are. That was my mother's legacy to me.