</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SecretGarden said:
Sunrise... It looks like you have described both sides of the continuum without seeing the inbetween. There are all kind of possibilities between the two extremes you described. I like to think that I have progressed so that my actions are somewhat inbetween...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Yes, that is exactly it! It seems like the posts in this thread have described one end or another of a continuum, and I summed up those two ends in my previous post. I am very interested in learning about the "in between". I would benefit if people who deal with anger in an "in between" way (I guess what I view as a healthy way, although I don't want to come down on people who are at the ends of the continuum) could post here explicitly how they express anger. I really don't know what a healthy expression of anger looks like. Do you yell at the person you are angry at? Do you talk in a calm voice and say "I am angry at you"? Do you slam doors? I just really don't know how to be angry and I would like some examples of healthy models. SecretGarden, if you know how to do it, can you post how? Thanks so much.

I guess I feel kind of stupid posting that question, because maybe the answer seems so obvious to people. But I really don't know what healthy anger looks like. I don't express anger, I just get hurt and push feelings inside. My husband slams doors and throws stuff but we don't engage with each other. My two teen daughters act *****y and unpleasant when they are mad. Is any of this considered a healthy way of being angry? If not, what are alternatives?

SecretGarden, I wasn't sure how what you wrote about guilt and your therapist's discontent related to anger?