The other day i felt so intensly bad it was caused by being pressured to go to a social event which i totally couldnt cope with and felt like i was gonna have a breakdown. Yesterday evening i felt good but i couldnt sleep last night and cant sleep now because im with my daughter but im feeling absolutely self loathing not that i ever like my self but its more so today. My weight is an issue as well. Since taking medication ive put on a dramatic amount of weight and i was on a diet recently even tho it was only for six weeks i didnt loose any weight what so ever and i was sticking to it properly. I think i would prefer to die than continue to get so large. Its so unfair because i. Not a gannit. My confidence is on the floor and i dont see any way to get back. If i was rich i would have so much liposuction dietitions the works. I feel like a pathetic looser. How can i improve how i feel?