Thanks for all of the responses!

I have not been on in awhile, so I am just reading these. Perhaps I AM clueless about children, but I do not see how I "EFF'd up".

So I will explain further.....when teen asks me the deep questions, about father, I do not want to answer them. S would keep asking me over and over, "What would you do?" and questions of this type. My answer was, not verbatim but on the order of, "I am not your parent, and you know I do not have children, and then give the most neutural , blah, non commital answer I could give him.". I never enforce rules(which are are none), call the father when I think something is going which should not, and only want to treat the S as I believe I would want someone to treat my child if I had one.

I DO love the idea of having a sit down w/ the 3 of us as to what the rules are for me when I am alone w/ son....which at this point, I am trying very hard not to be. I think it is unfair for me to help the father by being @ his home while he is @ work & S is home, without knowing the rules....this is unfair. I do know blood is thicker than water, and wants him to put his child first.

Thanks for listening!