Just like to start of with saying thanks for your replies.

I know its great that I'm in therapy and that but I've been trying for 28 years to get help and to say what was wrong with me, all they keep saying was it was down to the drugs which i knew it wont I knew it never helped things but I also knew that it wont down to the feelings I have.

At the moment I still leave at home yes I know at 28 I should have my own place damn at 28 I should be able to do many things but I cant because I'm so pathetic, I just feel that if I stay at home then things will never change becuase see my mum is over controling she wants to know every part of my business she thinks of me as the ill child she locks me in the house so that I cant go out. She tells me to leave everyday she tells me she wishes I was dead that I am a no one with out her wich in a way its true because i cant do nothing for myslef, all I want to do is just end it because I just cant see things getting any better for me.

Today my mum once again told me to leave I'm very much considering taking a OD i've already cut myself to bits, I know an OD wont solve things but I feel for me it will solve a hell of a lot I have more pros then cons to killing myself.

Anyway I will stop becuase this is just stupid sorry.