From the sound of it, the anxiety medication might help for the worst of the panic attacks...if its a benzo then yes they can be addicting, but it sort of depends on the person to and whether or not you're informed on that risk...but not being able to sleep, eat and have any peace of mind due to anxiety and other stress is a serious health matter.
If you are uncomfortable with the ativan perhaps you should talk to your doctor about other anxiety meds, but most of those won't kick in as quick to actually minimize a panic attack. There are also some herbal/natural remedies that can help if you're uncomfortable with meds....for instance Valerian can be helpful for panic attacks and I think it helps general stress to, I find it most effective as a tincture or tea. So I'd suggest maybe looking into some of the more natural remedies but keep in mind natural/herbal doesn't mean absolutely no side effects or dangers with over-use but much of the time it can be less than with pharmacuticals....also things like breathing exercises to calm your breathing when you feel anxious and things like that can also help some.
I can't imagine how difficult having a young child on top of that is, but it seems you are doing your best to take care of her, but you have to take care of yourself to in order to be able to continue doing that.
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Winter is coming.
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