Hi nBS, I'm a "nice Jewish girl" from California. I'm in a non-traditional relationship situation. I'm 51, married for about 30 years, but my husband and I don't live together - haven't for about 10 years. We raised two awesome kids, now in their 20's. My husband and I remain close friends, but that's all. Our relationship is friendly, but its also strained. I live with my so-called "boyfriend". Boyfriend had a fine job when we met 10 years ago, then the economy tanked and he hasn't worked for 5 years. I support him because he helps around the house and because I dread living alone. Nevertheless, I feel quite taken advantage of. I feel he is using me, and I don't like that I allow it. For the life of me, I cannot see a happy future.

In my experience, open marriage and other alternative relationships come with a very, very high price - emotionally and materially. Too often the "other" male or female is unconsciously looking for a relationship in which s/he can invest minimum and receive maximum. Some people are just really good at spotting a caretaker and taking full advantage of the situation.