it sounds like you are putting this pressure on yourself. but then you are also able to tell yourself that school isn't as catastrophic as you make it out to be. you need to listen to that side of your mind. I know I was a straight a student. I pushed myself hard. I stressed myself out so badly. created so much anxiety. then I realized that I would still do well even if I didn't put myself under so much stress, I didn't need to pressure myself so bad and study so hard. so I let go and quite stressing and I didn't care what grades I got because I knew even if I didn't preform as well I would still do good. I only needed bs to graduate, not the 100 percents I was pushing myself for. and I still got my As, but I didn't feel like I was going to have a nervous breakdown to get there. Nothing bad happened, no catastrophic consequences. I think you will find the same holds true for you if you lighten the pressure up on yourself. take care.