So, this is awkward to talk about, but here goes. I'm thinking of getting a dildo again.
I've got a long history with these most infamous imitations of the male genital anatomy. Years ago I broke down and got one, just too curious to not at least try one for myself any longer. I tried it and, well, I liked it. A lot. But after I used the toy I was overcome with feelings of guilt and I immediately threw the thing away. Some time passed and I thought to myself, you know, I really did enjoy how that felt. So I got another one. Same thing, used it, felt bad about it, threw it away. Sometimes I'd manage to keep one for a week or so, but it would always be on my mind. I was always thinking, "OMG I have a dildo hiding in my room, what is wrong with me?!" I had irrational concerns such as, "If I were to die today, someone would find a fake penis in one of my drawers." And I was mortified by that thought.
So, I haven't had one in a long time. But, thing is, that 'ol familiar feeling is creeping back up on me again, and I kinda want to try getting another dildo. I'm taking regular sex therapy lessons, learning to try and get more comfortable and more accepting of my own body and my own desires, so it plays into that. Or maybe I'm just trying to justify a hormone-fueled whim, I don't know.

What do some of you guys think? I'm open to opinions and suggestions. And please be respectful, I know almost everyone here is, but even from the comfortable anonymity of the internet, this is still embarrassing to talk about.
Thanks!