My sister is very pretty, but doesn't think she is. I seem to have been born with self-confidence while she was always very shy and has struggled with self-esteem. I made friends easily and was popular while she had very few friends and didn't go to school dances, didn't have a boyfriend, etc. I was academically gifted and was very musical and she wasn't. I didn't have to try hard to do most things; they just came naturally to me. I was cognizant of the fact that that wasn't fair even when I was a child. I can remember my sister struggling to study spelling for school quizzes and I felt guilty that it was so easy for me and I can remembering feeling so sad for her when she was sitting at home on Friday nights. I could feel how lonely she was.

So there were a lot of inequities and she was (and still is) very sensitive. So, I guess I wasn't really surprised that she was jealous and resentful of me, but I didn't know how MUCH she had hated me. It wasn't my fault that so many things were quite easy for me and it wasn't her fault that many things were much harder for her.

My parents always made sure that they praised both of us. They didn't make a big deal about my academic accomplishments because they knew I hadn't worked hard for them. They praised my sister a lot for her hard work, but that wasn't enough to boost her self-esteem. She still blames them for the way she is and the way she feels, but I think they did the best they could.