Teacake - do you feel that you enjoy negative attention? I feel like you do. Otherwise you probably would have shut up along time ago.

I'm histrionic myself and acknowledge that I do enjoy negative and positive attention. Out of all the PD forums I've always found myself as home with the narcissists more even though I am not even diagnosed with narcissistic traits or features whatever the **** it's called.

If you're on these forums though you shouldn't use them as a release for disordered behavior all the time though. Perhaps you should consider if healing and recovery is the right thing for you right now. Or maybe you can sit back and lurk to gain some awareness before posting.

Instead of coming here and mocking people for their desire to gain self awareness/coming around being the "alpha" but really it's just a guise for your need to release your disordered behavior. The only thing I see you alpha is for negative attention.

Good luck.