Being on the other side of that equation (having been an aspie male in a relationship with a bipolar woman), I can tell you from experience that it's tough. There were times it felt like we were having two different conversations and each getting frustrated because the other wasn't understanding what we were saying, when the reality was it wasn't so much a conversation between me and her as it was a conversation between Asperger's and Bipolar.

Learning his language will greatly help your relationship. He might not say "I love you" on an hourly (or daily, or maybe even weekly) basis, but he'll talk for hours about his latest obsession and not understand why you don't care. This is not him being selfish; it's him wanting to share the joy he finds in his activity or interest with you.

We also focus more on doing as opposed to saying. So things like cooking dinner or checking your tire pressure or fixing the squeaky stair or optimizing your hard drive are all little ways we show we care. Also, we tend to be very literal, and 'love' is a very slippery word. We don't just 'love' our partners; we appreciate, cherish, admire, and respect them. So you put these two things together, and he compliments something you've done while not noticing your new hair style, and you think he's not noticing you, when in fact he is noticing-- and expressing his admiration of-- you, but the two of you are just seeing, or at least just more aware of, two different things.

We also like routines and stability. Having a regular 'date night' might not seem very romantic, but if he knows that every other Saturday is date night, he will be a lot more comfortable on those dates, will be prepared and thus less likely to be close to shutdown mode, and you might be surprised at the amount of planning he puts into it (I think of it as 'planned spontaneity').

An aspie/bipolar relationship has more hurdles than the typical relationship, but it can work. It's just a matter of knowing how your respective disorders affect your respective approaches to relationships and learning to accommodate each other while still being sure your emotional needs are met.