41 yrs old living in the netherlands. diagnosed with bipolar in 2010 but see signs leading back to when i was about 12. i have been on plenty of different meds and med cocktails but i am currently not on any mood meds, just for sleep as i also have a cirrcadian rhythm disorder.

i have extreme mixed episodes that lead to annual 3 month hospitalisations (4 years running now) in the winter but even though its summer now im not feeling quite myself, and that worries me. i have had little sucess with mood stabilisers and im afraid my doctor will bring up ECT if i have another episode.
i have recently started seeing a new therapist, at my pdoc's insistance and i am supposed to start EMDR within the next year. i am very easily deregulated so im not sure i will get the go ahead to start the actual therapy. the stabilsation period leading up to it is hard work... themed discussions every week for 6 months followed by months worth of trauma inventory. gah.

i have 2 kids aged 19 and 22 and i am in a very stable marriage.
i like cats, i crochet and i write crappy poetry.

nice to meet you all.