What was your childhood like? I think I have a pretty good handle on what mine was like. I've talked about it at length to various people. I still get a little angry when people get dismissive and say things like "everyone thinks they had a crappy childhood'. Some people don't have a **** ing clue... and should probably keep their damn mouths shut.

My dad grew up in a bar... then got saved and joined a young-earth-creationist, fundamentalist church. He still struggled with alcohol, and would sometimes go on benders and get violent and beat my mom. When he wasn't hitting her, he was just verbally abusive.

My mom grew up in a fundamentalist church (also YEC), the daughter of a weanie of a man who wouldn't stand up to his abusive, mentally ill wife. My mom had her own mental health issues, also. and, I'd be embarrassed to have you meet her, as she can barely take care of herself, and has parkinson's like symptoms because of the anti-psychotic drugs she is on.

My mom seemed fairly normal to me, other than the fact that she was cruel (one of my first memories is her telling me that I ought to go hitchhike away from her- I was probably 5 or 6), at least until I was in college. When she decided to get some help for some mental health issues when I was still in grade school (I'm not even sure what those issues were.. I suspect minor BPD traits), my dad gleefully told us kids that she was having problems and was on medication. It seemed an obvious, pathetic attempt to get us on his side.

I still remember the day he gave her a black eye (I think I was in jr high), and he tried to explain why he had done it. I remember thinking it was so stupid to try and explain away something like that, without even apologizing, or even feeling bad about it.

My mom got better for a while, I think it was mostly because she decided to just live her life... When I was in high school, she would go out and play volleyball on city teams, things like that....
But, then in the 1990's, something happened, and she started accusing my dad of having affairs and getting more and more violent. After she tried to stab him with a knife, she got into the court system and was put on court-ordered anti-psychotic drugs. But, I was living on my own by then.

My dad thinks the world (and universe) is about 10,000 years old, and they both still attend a fundamentalist church. As I said, my mom can barely take care of herself, and is still on court-ordered anti-psychotic drugs.

My earliest memories are filled with the anger my parents showed each other. Piecing together my memories and what I was told, it seems my mom beat me at least once when I was in kindergarten, and I remember the school nurse looking over my injuries. I suspect after she was forced to explain what happened, she didn't do it again. I don't remember ever being hugged or told that I was loved.

When I was 10, my parents let me spend the night with a plumber who was doing some work in our house. He was really interesting and showed a lot of interest in me. During the night, he started fondling me. I suppose it could have been a lot worse, in that he sounded truly sorry when I started crying. He dropped me off at my house in the morning, and I never saw him again.

About that same time (it may have even been the same day) something really upsetting happened. I went to my mom for comfort, and sat in her lap and cried, but she made no attempt to comfort me in any way. She didn't say she was sorry, or ask about what happened, or put her arms around me, or anything...

I had some friends in grade school. But, something changed in jr. high. I was extremely shy, and got teased a lot, mostly because people saw an easy target, I suspect. I think that's when I first started acting arrogant.... and thought I knew more than most anyone I knew. I was pretty miserable through jr high and high school. I thought things would change when I went away to college.... but, it was tough... and I didn't have many friends there, either, and I was still very awkward and shy. I gave up on one school after 2 years, and went to another, then decided to deal with my problems by seeing a counselor. I felt worse, and tried to kill myself.... then moved back to another state to live with my parents.... That was 25 years ago. I've since gotten a lot better, got married, had a child... but, I've had to get help because of the NPD and BPD traits I exhibit.

I still don't know how to process the fact that when I was in my 20's and told my parents about the sexual abuse, they didn't apologize, or tell me they were sorry it happened to me. They got defensive..

How about you? What is your story?