quit apologizing.
this is a perfect place to vent, ask questions etc.
where else are you going to get feed back help for your problems.
From what you have said, she may have more than one diagnosis. and her meds may not be the right ones. Any way you could have a third person in her life act as a go between to suggest she perhaps see her pdoc to help stabilize her meds.
If she triggers youa nd is mean to you...you are allowed to not have her in your life. No one deserves to be verbally abused.
Until she sees this there is not any reasoning with her. You could simply write a letter to her staing that you don't deerve this treament and are distancing yourslef from her until she is ready to have a more respectful relationship.
This sounds all very sad...
I am sorry that you are hurting so...and you have to take care of your self.
((((HUGS))))
bizi