marie,

Go ahead and tell your T!

i couldn't always but have learned a lot from other people. I know that everything and anything is important and it's important to allow the associations.. that is to say it when I think it so show how my mind is associating things. That helps her understand how I think and it helps the analysis to see what connections my mind makes. It's so interesting and so worth the risk when I can do it. I Even though I know this I often preface it by saying "I'm embarrassed to admit this, but...." or something similar.

can't always and have told her that I censure myself and we talked about the why's of that.. the fears.

I'm often very uncomfortable doing it. For a lot of the session I avoid eye contact, study the floor. I have counted numerously the number of slats that have fallen off the vertical blind and have come to rest behind her desk. lol. But mostly my eyes are just darting around, avoiding landing anywhere, seemingly like my thoughts.

I am calmer by the end of the session but in the beginning, as I sit with my legs crossed, i am swinging that one leg like crazy. lol. it slows and I relax as we talk.

Who knows, maybe someday I will just go in there and nap!

ECHOES.