I find myself in a similar situation, and completely empathize. I've recently started to make some moves that I feel are in the right direction. So my following advice... (if it can really be considered advice rather than my opinion) is on what has worked best for me and my state of mind.

I have to start by saying... I know it is easier said than done, and if I could follow my own advice I would be much "further" in my life than I am now. So, I completely understand if this sounds like nonsense to you.

First, I know it is difficult, but you really can't compare yourself and your progress to anyone else. No one else has dealt with what you have or have had to cope with your struggles (whether they are internal or external).

You personal relationships and career path are your own ...and even if you had a high paying job or had dozen of relationships, it doesn't mean that they would be WORTH much of anything to you. You have to follow your own path and let your heart guide you to what makes you happy. Everyone else can go screw. Let's face it, if it doesn't make you happy... what is the point? Especially, when dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.

I find myself ...aimless. I feel lost without a driving purpose. If there isn't something motivating me in my life... the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is my addiction to coffee. Pathetic but true. I need something meaningful, something "bigger" than myself and my pain/depression to get me moving. Most of the time I can't see past my own pain. Unfortunately, all I want to is be happy... but I can't figure out WHAT that "thing" is that will make me happy. It's definitely not a new car, or any one man over another, or a thriving profession. Closest that I've come to finding my bliss is meeting my emotional needs... although coffee, a good book, BBQ and/or Snickers don't exactly hurt my situation.

I have, also, been in a place of, "what's the point, is this pain really worth this meaningless existence?" Every time I have gotten to that point, my following thoughts are usually, "well, if I'm going to die anyways, why not try this one last thing... it's not like it could get worse than being dead?!" Morbid, I know, but that's what keeps my "hope" going. Try one last thing.

I don't have a career path, a passion, or even a decent hobby. So, I had to start with what does NOT make me miserable. Once I ruled those out, I moved onto what would motivate me to get out of bed DESPITE my misery and apathy. 9 times out of 10, it was something or some one depending on me. Being needed... even if it was as simple as my dog needing to be let outside. Then, I expanded upon it.

After explaining my (long-winded, sorry!) process, my opinion is simply to stop sweating the nonsense details and expectations of others', and focus on whatever brings you joy. You can literally make a career out of anything these days. You just have to find the right angle that works for you.

If all else fails, start taking different volunteer positions/internships to explore different feilds. Even if it doesn't sound interesting, it will get you outside your comfort zone, keep you occupied, and could lead to meeting new people and exploring different options.

I mean... what do you have to lose? But keep yourself safe, and follow your intuition... if it doesn't seem like the right fit, don't force it.